If a struggle is perceived, it’s being perceived by me, so it’s not mine. I don’t own my identity or anything that I do or the thoughts that I have. It’s not mine essentially. I feel like, if I’m speaking from a true place of talking about me, then it has no quality. It’s just pure awareness. What happens is, I find myself forgetting. Or I’ll believe my false identity into existence. I’ve learned that the powers that we have are attention and belief.
There’s a quote that says, like, “I’m not really seeing the world as it is. I’m seeing the world as I am.” So, that’s kind of what happens. I’ll start to believe that I’m this person, this is what’s important to me, this is the way I feel about this and that. And then all these ideas pile on top of the original idea, which is the no-self thing. There becomes a self. But, like you said, if you search for “I”, there’s really… I haven’t been able to find anything. That’s how I experience it. I’m a drug addict and so I went through the 12 steps, and I’m in recovery still. I’ve been sober for 4 years. The big book tells you that you have to come to believe in a power greater than yourself. So, that’s what happened.
But my conception of God has changed throughout the years. It used to be based on some Christian ideals or these different religions. What I’ve found is that all these religions point to the same thing, which is something that can’t really be described and has no quality, but we just try to interpret it in all these different ways. And ultimately we fail.
So, I don’t really have a conception of God anymore, because it’s not anything that I can define and understand and be very descriptive about. It’s beyond words. And so, I kind of just went down a spiritual path that way. I was forced to, in a sense. But there’s a guy named Mooji on youtube and what he talks about has pointed me in the right direction and guided me a lot lately.
About Humans of WorkWell
Humans of WorkWell is our take on the popular “Humans of New York” Facebook spotlight. In Humans of WorkWell we spotlight a WorkWell customer and their current journey, philosophy, mood, or general good advice for life. If you’d like to be featured in our Humans of WorkWell series contact us today.